He curls up in a corner as I collapse on the bed, exhausted. He watches me, head low, until perhaps he felt it safe to come out again. Moments pass before I get up again and begin to advance on him, holding out the unlikeliest weapon of all. He panics, attempting to run past me once, and then a second time.

In the end, I give up and turn to collapse on the bed again, flinging my weapon on the floor.

Have it your way then, I think irritably. He seems to understand that, as he finally steps out into the open. He begins to dry himself off, his malevolent blue eyes occasionally flicking to where I was.

Clearly, the cat has deep issues with bathtime.

Kitty’s Very Secret Photo Diaries

Hey guys, my name’s Bouncy, and I am The Owner’s feline friend.

Me checking out what The Owner’s reading. Why’s she like chick-lit books so much?

Down we go! I always run down on the right side cause mah paws don’t have to stretch out so much.

Downstairs.

To you, a simple rocking chair. To me… napping paradise.

Ooh. My cat toy. …… okay, what next?

What the hell is that? Seriously, what the hell is that? I can’t even figure it out. It doesn’t do anything. And you can’t sit on it.

Right… so past the rocking chair…

And onto the dining table. Here we go!

So this is me. Ignore that guy, that’s mah evil twin.

This is The Owner.

With her hair. Yes, yes, she likes it. Anyway, back to me.

So now that you’ve “seen” it all…

Get outta mah crib!